Not Boring Yet

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
-George Carlin (1937 - 2008)

Good principle, I haven't followed it, but good nonetheless.


On Wednesday of this past week I arrived by aeroplane in Romania. After a long drive I finally reached my destination, a tiny village where you see little old men driving ox-carts while talking on cell phones. What a paradox. When I got to the house that I would live in I politely shared greetings and then rushed off to the restroom, well washroom as they are called here. As I was doing my business (here is where you should stop thinking) a whiff of a strange scent touched my nose. I sniffed, trying to figure out what it was. I had no idea. Soon, I reached down for the toilet paper.

Now, toilet paper has always fascinated me, and the toilet paper in Romania is certainly the most fascinating that I have ever seen. You see, it was pink and orange and had little butterflies fluttering all over it. As I proceeded to examine the design I brought the paper up to eye-level. The strange smell intensified! My superior reasoning led me to believe that the toilet paper was the cause of the fragrance, but I didn't know for sure.

I don't know if it is just me, but the thought of smelling toilet paper is a little bit disgusting. Sitting there on the toilet I had to make a decision. Do I satisfy my curiosity by sniffing toilet paper, or do I just use it and get out? My curiosity got the better of me and indeed I shoved the toilet paper up to my nose and sniffed.

The toilet paper smelled like peaches.

People who designed bathrooms to be private places were certainly good thinkers. I am eternally thankful to them as I must of looked quite foolish, sniffing my peach scented toilet paper. But seriously, what is the point of putting fragrance in toilet paper? Especially food scents! That is just wrong.

Next time you use toilet paper think of me with my peach paper and pray.
-Matthias